Santa Claus hits crunch time soon, as he does every Christmas Eve. But I got to thinking. What's he do in the off-season? Then it occurred to me … I'll bet Santa is a gardener.
Can't you just picture good, ol' Santa in jeans, work boots and a red flannel shirt with red suspenders digging ‘Yukon Gold' potatoes for the evening stew? I can.
If Santa isn't a plantsman, why would he be honored with Santa Claus garden flags, Santa Claus garden stakes, Santa Claus garden figure lights, even a Santa Claus garden gnome made by some German company?
I'll bet Santa's doctor and Mrs. Claus have been on his case about losing some weight and lowering his cholesterol. What better way to do that than by simultaneously exercising and growing his own salads, cole crops (which also happen to be high in cancer-preventing antioxidants) and Alaska-hardy carrots, which are, as we all know, a reindeer favorite? And he surely has an ample supply of well rotted manure to work into the garden … probably a nutritious combo of reindeer and polar-bear doo-doo.
Hmmmm. Maybe it's not too late to revise my Christmas list to ask Santa to bring me one of those great big cabbages and a nice jar of North Pole kraut.
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